Venting Frustration

There has been a great deal of discussion recently about certain professional golfers verbally venting frustration using inappropriate language. In response, I have some advice on how to deal with two of the most common causes of these extreme emotions, guaranteeing relief and avoiding the embarrassment of an ill-timed phrase.

Missed Putts
Always remember that a missed putt is totally the fault of the golf club and never the player involved. It is also a well known fact that the club in question is deaf, and so no amount of yelling at the club will produce satisfactory results. It will only cause an increase in blood pressure so great that the next tee shot is sure to slice off into the woods ( see dealing with an unruly driver ). The best way to deal with a poor performing putter is to wait quietly until the end of the round, tie the putter to the back bumper of your automobile and drag it home. I promise you will feel better. If the putter is damaged beyond use, bring it to the Academy and we will fit you to a new one. It is important to bring the old one along so the new one can see what happens if it misses a putt. Fear is a great motivator for putters.

Dealing with Unruly Drivers
In most cases, it is unfair to blame the driver for a missed tee shot. As we explained earlier, a missed tee shot is often the result of a bad putt on the previous hole. So it is entirely fair to blame the putter for all missed tee shots other than one that would occur on the first hole. This is usually a result of a driver that has low self esteem. How would you feel if you were twice as big as you were ten years ago? The best thing you can do is leave the head cover off your driver. Show it you are proud to be associated with it and you are not going to hide it from view. This will make the driver feel better and make it your friend rather than your enemy like that scoundrel putter.

If the previous advice doesn’t work, try this. Laugh at the bad shots, be proud of the good ones, and if you happen to be playing for ten million dollars in the FEDEX CUP, remember how lucky you are and try to show the game and the fans a little respect.